There is a trinity of parables about lost items that get found or returned. The common interpretations are that what is lost are those outside the faith community or tradition, or those who have veered off course from the “right” path and that God will seek them out and bring them back into the fold or that they will see the error of their ways and will be welcomed back with open arms if they have a change of heart.
While many may be comforted by these interpretations, there has always been something that didn’t sit well with me. As so often happens with reading and hearing scripture, assumptions are imposed upon them and of course, we bring our stories and experiences to our understanding of the stories. But good stories, will push beyond the easy, comfortable level and will raise questions and what ifs. And they will leave the ending open to wonderings of what might happen next.
In recent years, this trio of stories of lostness and foundness (yes, I’m making up words) has resonated with me, not so much with the surface level understandings, but with questions and wonderings that they generate, and with my personal experiences.
The first parable is that of the lost sheep (Luke 15:1-7), the one sheep out of 100, that the shepherd goes in search of, leaving the others unattended. The interpretation that the lost sheep is the person who has lost their way and is on the “wrong” path has really sounded like victim blaming at times. Somehow, it always seems to be the sheep’s fault that it wandered off. At a weekend event a couple of years back, the theologian in residence spoke on each of these stories, and shared that sheep are really not prone to wander. They wander when they are in need of food or water. Curiosity had me searching the internet for information about wandering sheep. What I found was basically that sheep don’t tend to wander off and are not as stupid as people like to portray them to be. Instinct in sheep says to stick together, there’s safety in a crowd. Wandering off would not be the smart thing to do…unless fresh grass or water was needed.
So with this parable, instead of burdening the wandering sheep as the one who needs to be rescued due to its poor choices, what is the responsibility of the shepherd? Why is there a sheep wandering away from safety? Is there a need that is not being met. There is a Midrash story of Moses who goes after a wandering lamb only to find him at a watering hole. The shepherd is tasked with caring for the sheep and knowing what they need. What does that mean for us with regards to those who are on the margins and fringes of our groups, our communities, and our societies? Are we watching out for those on the edges? Do we know why they are on the fringes, what their needs are?
A few years ago my husband and I became “wandering sheep” as we started moving towards the edges of our faith community. Suffice it to say that there were tensions, things that bothered us, and we began to disengage. But our change of habits, of engagement, went either un-noticed or were simply ignored. It’s not pleasant to be the wandering sheep, the lost sheep, but we believed we needed to pull back and eventually walked away. So yes, I react to blame being put solely on the sheep. Maybe not all sheep are lost because they have turned to errant ways.
The second story is that of the lost coin (Luke 15:8-10), surely no believes the coin lost its way, nor that the coin repented. Which then puts the responsibility squarely on the woman who lost the coin in the first place. Maybe we no longer worry about a lost coin. But we might turn the house upside down for a lost $100 bill, or a lost wedding ring, or keys, or an old photo of a departed loved one. Sometimes we are careless with even important or treasured items. And sometimes we just lose track of things due to busy lives or time. I know I have a couple of loose photos of my sister and I from a visit to our father back when we were 10 and 14 roughly. I know I have them…somewhere…tucked into a drawer or box with other treasures so they wouldn’t get mixed up in other things and get tossed.
The story of the lost coin is not about the coin having a change of heart, that makes no sense. But what does it say about our stewardship of what we have. We as individuals, and we as communities, as a nation, as global citizens. What treasures would we do well to take care not to lose…monarch butterflies, clean water, coral reefs, rainforests, our neighbors? Are we caring for what we have been given before we lose track, before it’s too late? Nature is doing its thing and adjusting based on our caring of it, trying to survive. How are we tending these gifts?
And the third story, the lost prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). There is so much to ponder in this one. It’s pretty common to hear a lot of blame placed on the lost younger son for first asking for his half of the inheritance and then for wasting it all, to blame the father for playing favorites, and to justify the older brother’s anger and jealousy. I have heard a number of biblical commentators and others speak to the dysfunction of this family. That makes this family very familiar doesn’t it? Don’t all families have their dysfunctions? The details and characters may be different, but struggles and tensions happen in all families.
I recently listened to a podcast (Sermon Brainwave for 3/20/22) about this story and one of the participants asked the question, wondering if the younger son was lost before he even left home. Did he leave to fill a need, maybe like the lost sheep; or did he get lost because he was foolish and not a good steward of what he had been given? In a family struggling with alcoholism and/or violence, would we blame someone for packing up and leaving? Maybe the younger brother wasn’t experiencing something quite that extreme, but maybe something wasn’t well either. We don’t know.
Lostness is hardly limited to being physically lost or losing possessions. Aimlessness, lack of direction or purpose are also forms of lostness. The loss of a job, a disaster, the change to an empty nest, the death of a loved one, and other situations can all bring a sense of lostness. How do we find our way back in these situations? Who comes looking for us when what is lost is a sense of self? There has been an increase in depression and suicide during these two years and I keep hearing that trauma recovery takes at least as long as the trauma lasted. We are all hoping we are at the end of this pandemic, but we are collectively facing a long recovery. How many people are feeling lost just from the pandemic, before even adding the news events from around the world, natural disasters, or their own life changes? People are struggling with lostness due to isolation or anxiety, wondering how to take those first steps to rejoining even small community circles?
In a previous post, I mentioned feeling “stationary”. Yes, I’m feeling stuck, that version of lostness that comes with a lack of direction and purpose. I think it’s been the result of the nest emptying out, loss of volunteer roles, and almost two years of mostly hanging out at home or only going out for routine errands. It’s not fun being in this limbo. Questioning and doubting oneself creeps in. So how does one get “unlost”? I don’t think there’s going to be a literal person who will come and pick me up out of the rut and set me down on a new path. But if I pay attention to what makes me come alive, what speaks to my heart and spirit, I will find my way again. I’m taking steps towards a new adventure, one that speaks to my soul though it terrifies me at the same time.
When I was nine or twelve, I remember going on a hike with my uncle. We had a summit as a goal. We came across a mountain stream at some point on our way up. On our way down we heard the cries of a lamb. We were able to locate the young one, picked it up and stopped at the first farmhouse we came across and sure enough that was where it belonged. I can’t tell you why that lamb was out there on its own…escaped from the enclosure maybe if a gate had not been shut, couldn’t keep up with the rest of the flock returning to the farm…just guesses. This little one was lost, its fault? Maybe, maybe not.
My sister experienced a great sense of loss and abandonment after our parents divorced and our father moved to the West Coast. It’s a lostness she would carry the rest of her life and her burden likely impacted her decisions. I suspect everyone, if they are honest, can say they have experienced a time of lostness, some longer and harder than others. Maybe that’s why I cringe when conversations about these parables takes the easy route of blaming the sheep for leaving the flock or the younger son for leaving home. I don’t think that’s the point of these stories. Maybe there’s more to their lostness that these stories don’t provide. Rather, maybe we need to do a better job of looking out for each other, show each other a bit more compassion, and keep our arms open for one another. Then maybe we could all experience the joy of foundness, whether that makes us the found one or the finder.
Have you felt “lost”? Why did you feel that way? Who or what has helped you to not be lost?
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