Home…this year’s reflection focus for Advent and the season of Christmas. Sounds pretty light and comforting doesn’t it? Except that the concept of home can bring a range of emotions, conjure a variety of memories, and is experienced is different ways physically, emotionally, and spiritually at different times of our lives and around the globe.
This year, my experience of home has been tested, made a bit chaotic in different ways, and collided with the reflection readings. With the reflections organized into sub-themes, the weeks titled Homesick, Seeking Sanctuary, Invited Home, Chosen Home, and Home by Another Way proved to be a bit more challenging than anticipated.
Earlier this fall, a vehicle fire in our driveway resulted in enough damage to the garage and house to force us out for a bit while a work crew emptied and cleaned out the impacted spaces. We naively thought repairs might not take long, especially to the house itself. And then reality hit and bumped up against the holiday season. It hasn’t been the tragedy it could have been, but an inconvenience. And while there have been challenging moments, it’s also been humbling.
Which brings me back to the reflections selected for this Advent and Christmas season, Close to Home. For some time now, I’ve thought of home as much more than the physical structure that is a house, apartment, cabin, or other physical form. In expanding the definition of home to…
not only includes the home we live in, but also those other places where our trusted, personal relationships happen and flourish.
From the Great Omission to Vibrant Faith
Home is also about being seen, known, and loved. It’s about belonging as one is, about being accepted and not merely tolerated. Home is where we are welcomed to help ourselves to what is in the fridge for a drink and a snack. Home is the place of people and relationships. Do you remember the sitcom Cheers? Do you remember the theme song? There is a verse that echoes this definition of home…
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
That place would be home. And sometimes it isn’t the physical place where we lay our heads down at night, but it is the place where we are known and welcomed in. In fact, the traditional place definition of “home”, may be anything but welcoming and loving for some people as they may be living in an abusive family and home. Sometimes we have the opportunity for a chosen home, a home away from home that becomes a sanctuary, that we can go to knowing we will be welcomed with open arms and hearts. Home is where we can simply walk through the open or unlocked door and not need to ring the bell. I, we, have been blessed to have such “second homes”. Over the course of being out of our house, our primary home, other homes have been opened for us as we worked our way through the first days following the fire and then again as Thanksgiving and Christmas approached. I realized just the other day that it took 4 kitchens for us to do our traditional holiday baking this year.
This period of being forced to be away from home will be short-lived for us. The damage wasn’t severe and being able to afford good insurance coverage means that rebuilding/replacement is covered as is our time in temporary housing. But many are not so fortunate due to a lack of or inadequate insurance. And then there are the countless people experiencing a complete lack of a permanent home, here in the United States and in refugee camps around the world. Working in a barebones kitchen with just the most basic cooking items and just enough dishes makes one appreciate the privilege and downright luxury of having a well equipped kitchen, even one not filled with top of the line brands or all the convenience gadgets.
Another privilege of having that permanent physical home is muscle memory. You know where the light switches are, where the utensils are, the baking sheets, etc…and you know where to put things back. We will forever be grateful for the chance to “camp out” at our friends’ homes during this experience. Yet this experience has me wondering how tiring it must be to move frequently as rents increase or to live in one temporary housing followed by another or to make due with less than even the basics. And by basics, I mean really basic. I remember the refugee simulation led by Lutheran Immigration and Refugee Services at the ELCA National Youth Gathering in 2018. Near the end of the simulation, we “arrived” at a refugee resettlement camp and 4 of us stood in a replica of what would have been a “house”. Tiny doesn’t even begin to come close to being accurate. A family of four would have struggled to all sleep laying down. I can only imagine how exhausting living under such conditions must be.
Part of “home” is living humanely and with dignity. United Nations sources say there are over 80 million people who have been forcibly displaced at the end of 2020. Home doesn’t have to be a multi-dollar house with enough rooms to sleep a sports team. Home doesn’t need a makeover every few years. Home should be clean, offer dignity, comfort, safety, and welcome. Home should be a place for healthy and engaging relationships. The cliché about home being where the heart is rings true. But the desire to have a place to call home also rings true.
May you have places you call home, places where you are welcomed and invited to help yourself, places you are comfortable letting down your guard and simply being you. May you be considered as “home” by others.