What Do I See When I Look Out?

That was the question put to me recently by my pastor. My initial answer…I didn’t know. Words were, are, failing me at this moment. Of course the question and answers simmered after we hung up. The short answer would be the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful. At the moment, do I have a despairing heart? An overwhelmed, boggled mind? Eyes seeing creation in full blown spring activity? A soul sensing the presence of Christ in friends, family, and strangers?

Yes. All of that.

In many ways this global pandemic is soul-sucking as well as taking lives. And yet hope, love, and light peeks through the darkness. With news available 24/7, the rising numbers of cases and deaths is always just a click away. Unemployment is likely to hit the levels, or higher, seen during the Great Depression according to those in the know.

So what do I see when I look out…

I see images of people carrying military style weapons as they demand to be allowed to go back to working, playing, learning, shopping as before.

But I also see people standing in line (for a long time in some places) patiently, wearing their masks, and mostly alone without their family in tow.

I see and hear our national leader take no responsibility, encourage division, provide no courageous leadership, and show no empathy or concern for anyone outside his immediate tight circle.

But I also see and hear many local leaders lead with compassion, conviction, and responsibility for all within their jurisdiction as well as their neighbors.

I see the stories of healthcare workers working endlessly, selflessly, with inadequate supplies, and in some places too many patients.

But I also see the stories of those showing their appreciation by providing food for healthcare workers, sending them thank you’s and notes of encouragement.

I see those in power looking to acquire even more power, more money at the expense of the ones already struggling and among the invisible to those at the top.

But I also see members of communities finding ways to support their neighbors and to call out the powers that be.

I see the unemployment numbers climbing every week as more and more people lose their jobs, some permanently.

But I also see how some people and businesses are meeting challenges created by this pandemic by changing how things are done, hiring people to meet new and different demands, and creatively using available resources to provide for others.

I see literally tons of food going to waste while many are experiencing food insecurities and flooding food banks and pantries.

But I also see how some in the food industries are trying to donate as much as they can to those in need instead of simply destroying all of the surplus, or how neighbors are generously giving to their local pantries.

I see the stories of financial struggles to cover rents, medical costs, and other expenses after the loss of jobs.

But I also see some companies showing mercy and compassion by offering refunds, freezing increases, allowing payments to be delayed.

I see faith, school, neighborhood, and team communities struggling with staying connected and engaged with each other and their neighbors.

But I also see people learning new technologies as ways to stay connected, to stay in fellowship, to keep learning, and to serve one another and neighbor; as well as resorting to old school ways using signs, messages on sidewalks and in driveways, teddy bears and hearts in window.

I see the reality of the hardships many people experience on a daily basis that have come to the surface and into the light.

But I also see and hear that other people are taking notice as well and are calling for us to not return to what we knew as normal but to change course.

I see the increased trash the actions we have taken to flatten the curve have created.

But I see and hear stories of places around the world that are seeing clear skies for the first time in a long time.

I see how the stay at home orders have hurt businesses of all kinds.

But I also see how we’re realizing that we really don’t need as much stuff as we thought and that slowing down the pace at which we rush through life is not a bad idea.

I see the plans we’ve made for weddings, graduations, vacations, summer jobs, recitals, championships, reunions, date nights, new jobs, coffee with friends…either postponed or canceled.

But I also see the promises to reschedule what can be and to cherish the little things we so often take for granted.

I see there are many reasons to be appalled by our leaders, both the official leaders and those behind the scenes; really fear for the future of our planet and our children and grandchildren; and to want to just curl up in a corner and cry.

But I also see the quiet leadership of so many ordinary people, people sewing masks for hours, children spending their savings to feed others, teens helping the elderly in their neighborhoods, communities finding ways to honor their graduating seniors, families and friends taking care of each other in creative ways, people shipping food for pantries, nature and creation are awakening from the winter’s long days of rest with bright colors and full of energy.

Yes, there’s an enormous amount of pain, struggle, grief, cruelty, and evil happening in our world right now. 

But there is also a large share of goodness, love, generosity, self-giving, and light shining right now too.

We are almost halfway through the season of Easter. Yes, the season. It starts on Easter Sunday and goes to Pentecost Sunday. This Easter season feels more like an extended Lenten season. We are certainly in a long Holy Saturday, that liminal space and time between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. It’s a time of not knowing, of being in-between what was and what will be.

I see a lot of darkness in this not knowing, waiting time. For some the monotony of the days is hard, for others work, school, and home happening all in the same space is overwhelming. I suspect for all of us, all the unknowns about the virus, the economy, and our society, our world, are weighing heavily on our minds and hearts.

But I also see lots of signs of life, of light, of the presence of Christ as we do our best to tend to one another and to the world around us.

And this gives me hope.