Sunday 1 – Fatigue

I put off meditation today until rather late. It had been a mentally stressing day (dining table stuff). It had been a long day. And I was tired. As with the last time I was tired going into meditation, the monkey brain was a little more active than yesterday.

The first thing of note today was that a couple of times today I found it difficult to relocate my focal point (1-2 inches in front of the bridge of my nose) after I had wandered off. It amazed me how hard it was to find my way back to that simple point even when I was actively attempting to go back there. I could drop the tangent thoughts, but my focal point remained many feet away. (Remember this is all with my eyes closed.)

The second thing of note was that I managed to avoid thinking about what I would say about the experience today. I caught myself starting to drift in that direction and redirected back before actually going there.

The third thing of note was that again at about the 12 or so minute mark (I find that time is difficult to judge) my mind started heading into strange stream of consciousness lines of thought. I also started wondering about time. Nonetheless, the 15 minutes did not seem like an eternity. It was more a curiosity.

I believe I will go 15 minutes again tomorrow as I don’t think I’m ready for 17 minutes yet. I will also try to avoid waiting until I am exhausted to start.