Over the last few months, I have read “The Man on the Mountainside” by Susan Trott, “10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works,” by Dan Harris, and now “The Great Transformation: The Beginning of Our Religious Traditions,” by Karen Armstrong. Although I did not set out to read books so focused on Buddhism there is a very strong thread running through these selections—with a strong nod in all cases to the power of meditation/mindfulness. This comes on the heels of hearing a presentation by a fellow member of my church talk about his experience with meditation.
So who am I to tell the fates that they are wrong. I have been finding the entire concept more and more intriguing and myself drawn to learn more about it. So this Lent, I will be attempting daily meditation. Will this continue after Easter? I have no idea. But for now, I will reflect each day on my experience. In the end, it will be interesting to look back to see if/how my thoughts (both during meditation and through the rest of my day) evolved.
Today, I started slowly. I spent 10 minutes focused on my breath and calming the “monkey mind.” The goal was to not think about anything but to experience the moment. From my reading, I knew not to beat myself up whenever I drifted but to note the distraction and get back to focusing on my breathing. I have no idea how many times I had to exercise this maneuver… but I did get quicker at noting the deviations and coming back. As I was going through this, I discovered something I had not read… it is damned near impossible not to silence the internal dialog (talking to yourself in words)… even when telling myself to refocus. I tried to hit a state where I was not dialoguing at all. I believe I managed to do it three times with the longest duration of about 10 seconds.
Going into this today, I wasn’t sure how well I would be able to judge time. I was surprised to find myself surprised when the alarm went off. I had suspected that I would start trying to guess the amount of time remaining somewhere around 5 minutes. But it turns out that I only thought about this once—and this was early into it, when I knew that it was way too early to start thinking along those lines.
Tomorrow, 12 minutes.
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