This year I decided I really wanted to go back to my confirmation retreats although I have been confirmed for about 2 years now. It was a great decision. The weekend was fun and a great change of pace. Although I enjoyed and looked forward to going on the retreats when in the program there was still some element of having to go. This time it was 100% because I wanted to. I want to continue in my faith journey.
The last year or so of my confirmation program had been really frustrating in terms of other’s participation and I realized that the year afterwards I practically took time off of really trying to challenge or grow in my faith. I still went to church and did everything that I had before, but I also wasn’t looking for any other challenge. In fact, I was starting to get really frustrated with church as a whole. Why did I bother to go when few other youth bothered to? I had my faith, I knew how to think for myself, so why continue at church? (It wasn’t so much questioning continuation of going to worship as much as why bother with youth group or Sunday school?) It wasn’t until Theological Education with Youth (TEY) when I really rediscovered that yes, my faith is super important to me and I wanted to continue challenging myself, even if my company didn’t. And it was at TEY that someone told me that it’s alright to have doubts, it’s alright to even be angry at God; He can handle it.
Since then I’ve become a lot less frustrated, mainly because I’ve been able to do other things with my time on a Sunday morning. This year I’ve been able to help teach the elementary Sunday school. It’s a great way to continue acting in my faith and mix teaching into it, which I believe is at least a part of my vocation. While I love working with the younger kids and seeing how they perceive our religion, I do find that I’m really missing some good challenging questions. That brings me here, to going back to the retreats.
As I was comparing my answers to the questions this time to the last go around I realized that a lot of the answers were pretty similar, yet I had forgotten so much. But I had grown. There were many reminders that I needed to hear. There was a community that I needed to be a part of. There are still mentors that I need support from. There are opportunities where I need to keep growing. But I’ve heard my call to adventure and am trying my best to face it’s challenges.
If your curious this is how I answered the same prompt about three years ago http://vmwishes.com/2013/05/05/my-faith-journey/